Trust in a relationship is everything. Getting someone you can trust to spend your whole life with isn’t a child’s play. By all means, you should get a man who’s trustworthy. By all means, you should find a man whose ye is ye and whose nay is nay. We are humans. We lie. You lie. I lie. But when it comes to a relationship, you know you have to find someone who doesn’t tell lies for a living.
How can you find a guy who wouldn’t tell you lies when the truth would have been the easiest option? I can’t show you how. I can give you a clue.
Here is the clue.
1. He always tells you to confirm from X
X is his best friend. Whenever you have a reason to distrust his answers, he gives you a lengthy explanation and ends it with “you can ask X, he was even there.” I’ve given you reasons not to trust your boyfriend’s best friend. Anytime he refers you to his best friend for a confirmation or otherwise of some deeds, you sure should know he’s trying to pull a fast one on you. If he constantly asks you to confirm issues from his best friend, it’s a red light for you to be careful with him.
2. He pretends he didn’t see your call
He didn’t see your call and for some reason, his phone doesn’t register missed calls. Your missed calls. Isn’t that amazing? When you are with him, he can’t put his phone down. It is only when you are not with him that he puts his phone down and leaves it long enough to miss your call. Something can’t be right, don’t you think so? And because he doesn’t want you to see when he reads your WhatsApp messages, he’d turned off the blue tick and also turned off last seen. I smell mistrust somewhere. Do you smell it too?
3. He pretends he doesn’t have friends
You’ve never met anyone he calls a friend. He’s never introduced you to anyone he calls a friend. And he tells you: “Babe, you’re all I have. Friends will destroy our beautiful relationship, that’s why I don’t have any.” That sounds romantic. That sounds like a guy who wants to sacrifice a friendship to keep who he loves. But ask this, “Who does he call with the phone in his hands? And most times that he’s on WhatsApp chatting, who does he chat with?” Now you should be worried.
4. He can’t put his phone down
You’ve abandoned all important stuff to have a date with him. Probably you’re going to miss your favorite telenovela too. You want to be with him. He’s your world. You spend the night on a date with him and the only time you see his face clearly is when his phone’s screen lights up. You see him smiling whiles reading messages from the phone. You ask him who’s making him smile and he’ll say; “no one.” He’s the only person on earth “no one” can make him smile. You came alone to be with him. But he brought the world to the table.
5. He can’t guess whom he’s talking to when you call him with a different line
The problem isn’t the fact that he can’t recognize your voice. Far from it. The problem starts when you ask him to guess who’s on the line. “Guess? I’m not good at guessing. I always get it wrong.” He’ll say. He’s not actually bordered about getting it wrong. He’s rather thinking of the worse that could happen if he should get it wrong. “If I say it’s Lucy and it’s rather Louisa, I’m dead. Louisa knows I don’t speak with Lucy anymore, so why would I even guessed it’s her?” So long and short of it all, no guessing.
6. He has long explanations for “do you have a girlfriend”
Now you are sure about him. You want to go ahead to have a relationship with him. You want to be assured of one thing. Only one thing; that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. The answer from him should be straightforward. Yes. No. There shouldn’t be any terms and conditions. There shouldn’t be a long story about another girl he loved and she disappointed him and blah blah blah. Guys who are carrying the stories of their ex around probably didn’t let go and are likely to go back to the ex when things get right. Or better still, they are hurt and looking to use you for a cover-up.
7. He Always calls you with pet names.
Having your boyfriend calling you with beautiful pet names is nice. Romantic actually. Today he calls you Cupcake, yesterday you were Apple pie, and tomorrow he’s going to call you with another sweet thing. That’s all nice. It shows what you mean to him. But you have a name. A name that would be on the marriage certificate if you two should end up married. Let him call you with that name most times. Probably he’d forgotten your name or he doesn’t want to mistake your name for another lady he was with last night. To be on a safer side, he’s decided all women he meets are cupcakes, apple pie and the rest of all other sugary foods. You are safe when your name is safe on his lips.
8. He tells you his parents are strict
For some reason or two, you decided to date a guy who lives with his parent. Maybe you love him so much so that the fact that he’s living with his parent didn’t register to you as a problem. Now he doesn’t want to take you home. He tells you his parent are capable of blowing your head off when they see you’re dating their son. He tells you his last relationship ended because he took the girl home and dad nearly killed her. So you meet him in public places or a friend’s house when you want to be intimate. Are you waiting for me to tell you you can’t trust such a guy?
9. He takes your number today and he’s all over you in the next minute.
Be wary of guys who try to take your number at hello. And be extra careful with those who get the number and they are all over you in the next minutes professing love and affection from heaven. If they got it from you, then they’ve taken it from others and they’ll get it from many others too.
10. He keeps condoms in his wallet
Condoms come in a pack of three. He always has only one in his wallet. What happened to the other two? He’ll tell you he gave them to X and you can confirm with him if you like. Check number 1 to know what that means. He keeps condoms in his pocket, yet you don’t remember the last time he had one on when doing it with you. So who is the condom for? He can also say he went to HIV/AIDS program and it was shared. Well, you decide if he’s telling the truth.
Source: Ghana Web
How To Handle A Breakup So Well That It Will Hurt Those Who Broke Up With You.
Everything comes to an end someday but when we love, when we are in love, we expect love to last forever. We give our all to whom we love and believe they should love us too, we invest our time to make things work. We see no other, love no other and our hearts are committed to no other but this one person we believe makes us whole. But then, sometimes things don’t happen the way we wanted them to and just by a twist of fate or moment, the person we are in love with calls it quit.
Our world seems to take a twirl and all of a sudden we feel we are caught up in a whirlwind that’s strong enough to break us to pieces. Break up has never been easy in the hearts of people who truly loved and expected nothing but to be loved back. Feelings of rejection and pains go on for days and our thoughts go wondering. We asked all the questions but answers hardly come; “where did I go wrong?”
But no matter the hurt, you have to move on at some point. You have to put all behind you and live life once again. It’s not easy but following these steps can help you get back on your feet again and be the person you once were without all the troubles of a broken dream.
- Give yourself the chance to feel the hurt
It hurts and sometimes feels like your heart is being ripped off your chest. This is not the time to prove how strong you are by resisting the pain. The more you resist the pain the harder it becomes for you to let go. Realize the pain and give yourself permission to feel it. Cry if you want to. Scream if you want to throw whatever you feel like throwing around. Get the hurt off your heart by creating a tunnel for it to find its escape route. Feel the hurt but don’t make the one who left you see it. Slowly, as times pass, it will drain all the hurt from your heart and very soon, you’ll talk about it with a smiling face.
2. Don’t try to get back together
At this point, you are very vulnerable. You’ll try looking for something to lean on and just anything will do, even a straw. The urge to get back to him/her becomes very strong because you are lonely and hurting. Usually, you would want to prove to yourself that whoever left you made a mistake and it’s up to you to make them realize their mistake. So you go on a crusade to get what’s yours back. Such behavior does you no good but pushes your healing farther. As far as you stick around trying to get him/her back you’ll keep hurting. Stay away. Stay as far away as possible and do everything that will help you forget about him. Stop nosing around their social media handles, if you care for a quicker healing, block them.
3. Seek support
It hurts and sometimes feels like your world has come to an end. Don’t go through the pain all alone. Talk to someone. Talk to a friend who understands your situation. Avoid people who will be judgmental and accuse you of being a crybaby. You don’t need bad vibes and negative energy at this point. Stick to people who will offer positive support and help you transition from the hurt to healing again.
4. Put the phone away
Don’t call him/her. Don’t call him/her I say. Resist the urge. Just put the phone down and concentrate on bringing yourself back healing. When you call them, you open yourself up for them to exploit your situation. You give them the clue that you can’t live your life without them and ask them to have pity on you and love you back. You want to be loved truly and wholly and not out of pity. Don’t call crying to them. Don’t assume you can be friends just after a breakup and be the one to initiate that friendship. Be a person who has self-love and let him/her go. Don’t text him/her. Stop looking at the photos you both took on your phone. Delete all that and even messages you exchanged while together. It sets your heart up for a new beginning.
5. Take Care of yourself
The best revenge you could give to the one who got away is to take good care of yourself. Don’t give them the chance to think they made a good decision of letting you go by appearing unkempt and miserable. Be the beautiful girl he fell for and would want to get back to. Be that guy. Hit the gym. Eat well, have a lot of sleep and put yourself in better shape. Taking good care of yourself brings back the focus to yourself and helps you to forget the hurt. It also helps to put you in a better shape to be seen by someone else. You know what I mean?Heal before the next one comes Loneliness usually pushes people into a relationship they later regret. When you are lonely, anything that promises to take you out of your loneliness looks good. But here is the deal, when you go into a relationship with a broken heart, you don’t necessarily heal. You only sweep the hurt under the carpet and postpone your healing. Very soon, you’ll carry the hurt from the old relationship to the new one. You’ll begin to assess situations of the new relationship through the filter of the old one. Things will come cracking up and you might ruin a good relationship with the ghost of the old. Heal completely before you embark on a new relationship. In case someone comes along while you the hurt is still fresh, let them know your situation and ask them to give you time and space to heal completely. No need to rush. The world isn’t going away. Not anytime soon.
6. Love yourself more than ever
It’s in some of us to take the blame when things go bad. When people we love leave us, we judge ourselves and think we were the bad ones. We believed they left us because we were not good and deserving of good things. We let ourselves go through the mill of self-hatred until there is nothing more to salvage. Dear, it’s not you who did the wrong. Move on and give yourself some love. Love yourself to want good things to happen in your life. Give the best of treatment to yourself, that way; people who come into your life would have no option to love you. If they can’t love what you love, they have no business in your life.
Source: Ghana Web
GlennSamm And Friends Feeds The Less Privileged On The Street
GREATER ACCRA – GHANA, Saturday February 22, 2020/www.gbafrica.net/ – Globally observed as a day of love, showing of affection and good will, Valentine’s Day celebration leaves an aura of deep emotions and solidarity towards one another.
This year’s edition was not short of amazing, as the Afrocentric walking artiste, model and visual storyteller – GlennSamm organized his yearly extension of love to the needy and less privileged, dubbed GlennSamm and Friends – Love On the Street. They trooped to the streets of Accra to share love and kindness to homeless, vulnerable and less privileged.
He spent the day by sharing food, drinks and water to the homeless as well as passing words of motivation to uplift them. Making them understand that, with life there is hope for a better future and an opportunity to effect change in their livelihoods.
The event which started from the National Theatre enclave on the principal street of Accra, came to a successful end at the historic grounds of liberation, the National Independence Square with about 400 people being fed.
GlennSamm and his friends extend their sincere appreciation to all donors and service providers who contributed to ensure a successful event in a video attached. Project was organize by EboxAfrica x KvngsOfTheNewSchool and supported by Blaqsheep Multimedia Group, Grow A Child Project.
Is He Acting Up? These 13 Ways Will Make Him Realize Your Worth
Does your boyfriend ignore you and take you for granted? Do you feel more like a trophy girlfriend than an actual one? After the honeymoon period wears off, your boyfriend starts taking you for granted. All efforts become one-sided and soon you begin to feel that you are in a one-sided relationship. Your boyfriend doesn’t value you and mocks you for no reason. You feel like the housewife whose husband bickers at her, mocking her about sitting at home doing nothing. You stay silent, hoping that it will get better one day and your boyfriend will appreciate you for what you are, but it only gets worse.
I say this through personal experience, my boyfriend would depend on me for everything and it felt like he was extracting everything out of me but I was not getting anything in return.
All the efforts were one-sided and in doing so, I was losing myself as well. You need to make him realise your worth before it’s too late.
“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.” – Will Smith.
In a relationship, efforts need to be two-sided. It takes two people to make things work. If you’re the one putting in all the efforts while your boyfriend is just taking advantage of your silence, it is time to make him realise your worth. It is not largely possible to keep a relationship going only when one is making the efforts. So, how to make him value you more? How to make your boyfriend realise your importance? How to make him work for you again? Here are 13 ways that will tell you how to make him realise your worth.
- Keep yourself busy
You don’t need to be available for your boyfriend every time. Take time out for yourself and do the things that you were procrastinating for so long. Make him realise your absence. When he sees that you aren’t there when he needs you, he will come to you to see what is wrong. You need to make him miss you in order to make him understand that you are not always available. Boyfriends don’t understand things on their own. They realise things only when their girlfriends give them a push.
2. To make him realise your worth, stop texting and calling him
Do you call and text your boyfriend first? Does he never text you first, though you’d say he replies? Do you keep asking him if he’s okay and say I love you first, most of the time? If the answer is yes, you need to stop immediately. Always texting and calling your boyfriend first makes them feel that you are always available for him. Moreover, he won’t feel like texting you first because he’ll get used to the idea of his girlfriend always calling and texting him. If you want him to realise your worth, make him call and text you instead.
3. Forget to do some of his chores
Girlfriends take care of their boyfriends in so many ways without their boyfriends even realizing it. Boyfriends take their girlfriend for granted because they don’t even realise how much they do for them. It is time to make him realise how big a role you play in his life. Forget to do some of his chores like his laundry, giving him reminders, getting stuff for him, etc. Make it sound like an honest mistake and say, “I’m sorry, it really slipped my mind. I thought you were going to do it yourself.” This will make him realise how much he is dependent on you for his day-to-day activities.
4. Express your feelings through your actions
You are obviously frustrated because of your boyfriend taking you for granted. Why feel bad about it silently when you can take out your frustration? Show your frustration in your actions. If he’s asking you to do something, show your disagreement and unhappiness about it. Make angry sounds while doing work like banging something hard while putting it down. This will grab your boyfriend’s attention and he will ask you what is wrong.
5. Stop being a pushover
A pushover is someone who can easily be controlled and backs down easily. Your boyfriend doesn’t realise your worth because he thinks that you’re a pushover and will do anything he says. You need to take a stand for yourself and show resistance to things you don’t like. Voice your opinion rather than doing whatever he tells you to do.
6. Go out with your friends
You need to have a life outside your relationship, not just to show your boyfriend but for yourself as well. Connect with your girl gang and have fun with them every once in a while. Go out with your friends and reconnect with them. Seeing you have a life outside your relationship will make your boyfriend realise that you’re not dependent on him and he will feel a bit afraid of losing you. He will also feel a bit jealous that you’re not spending time with him and will start paying more attention to you.
7. Pamper yourself
After getting into a relationship, women tend to take lesser care of themselves because they are more focused on their relationship than themselves. You need to realise your self-worth and pamper yourself. Go to salons for a full body spa or a mani-pedi. Give yourself the care that you deserve. Moreover, when your boyfriend starts seeing you are taking care of yourself like you used to, he won’t be able to keep his hands off you.
8. Start saying ‘no’
Women who say yes to everything are more likely to be taken for granted by their boyfriends. This is because boyfriends know that their girlfriend will say yes to everything and they don’t value their girlfriend’s opinion. Saying ‘no’ from time to time won’t do any harm. The next time he asks you to do his laundry say, “I’m really caught up with something. Could you please do it this time and do mine too?” It will show your boyfriend that you know how to take a stand and he’ll realise your worth and respect you more.
9. Take decisions for yourself
Are you one of those girlfriends whose boyfriend orders her meals at restaurants without even asking her? What if you wanted to have a pizza and your boyfriend ordered you salad instead? These things might seem small but it begins with small things and before you know it, your boyfriend is making all the decisions for you. Take decisions for yourself and don’t let your boyfriend control you. Next time you go to a restaurant, say that you want to have a pizza when your boyfriend orders the salad for you. He needs to know your worth.
10. Stop doing things together
Couples have a list of things that they do together. This, though cute, is also harmful because it becomes routine and you no longer treat it as something special. When such activities become routine, you don’t give them the importance you used to. If your boyfriend and you have a movie to watch together make an excuse and do something without him instead. This will make him miss your presence and he will put in more effort to do things with you.
11. Ignore him for sometime
Boyfriends don’t realise your worth because you’re always there for them. You need to ignore him for some time and see how he reacts. Even if it kills you to ignore him, you need to know that this is something that will help in the future. Let him come to you first. Once he sees that you aren’t there, it will make him feel left out. He will do things to seek your attention and will give you more importance.
12. To make him realise your worth, first know your worth
“Remember, you are beautiful.”
Many times, girlfriends wish to stay silent rather than letting their boyfriend know that they are taking them for granted because they feel that it is what they deserve. They undermine themselves because of which their boyfriends undermine them too. You need to know your worth and your importance in your boyfriend’s life. Reflect on all the things you do for him and the things you get back in return. Any guy would be more than lucky to have someone like you and you need to know that.
13. Talk to him
Boyfriends need a push at times. They need to be told things that they don’t realise. Having an open line of communication is always a sign of a healthy relationship. Tell your boyfriend that you feel left out and taken for granted. Tell him about the different instances where you felt this way. Tell them, “You make me feel left out. You don’t appreciate my efforts. I want you to acknowledge me once a while.” He will keep these things in mind and pay more attention to you in future.
In a relationship, one partner puts in more effort than the other, but it is always a two-sided effort. If you feel that the relationship is one-sided, you need to do something about it to make it a two-sided one. Not doing anything about it will build a wall between your boyfriend and you and it will eventually turn things sour between the two of you. Making him realise your worth will help you both work together in the relationship and make your foundation stronger.
Stolen 18th Century Crown Returns To Ethiopia
ADDIS ABABA, ETHIOPIA, February 20th, 2020/www.gbafrica.net/ The Ethiopian government has received an 18th Century crown that had been stolen then hidden in a flat in the Netherlands for 21 years.
The crown is thought to be one of just 20 in existence. It has depictions of Jesus Christ, God and the Holy Spirit, as well as Jesus’ disciples, and was likely gifted to a church by the powerful warlord Welde Sellase hundreds of years ago.
Ethiopian Sirak Asfaw, who lives in the Netherlands, discovered the crown in the suitcase of a visitor he was hosting.
Upon realising that it was stolen he held onto it until 2018 when Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed was elected to office. He then reached out to art historian Arthur Brand and Dutch police to help keep it safe until its return home to Ethiopia.
On Thursday, Mr Abiy tweeted photos of him receiving the crown from a delegation that included Dutch Minister for Foreign Trade and Development Cooperation Sigrid Kaag:
Source: Ghana Web